I consider myself a good person. I consider myself a kind and caring person. I consider myself an understanding person. I try to be a patient person. But, none of that seems to matter sometimes.
What I could use a little more of right now is respect, especially when it comes to deadlines. I know most people don’t care about them, especially not here. I think they all assume that I give myself plenty of time and so they can really give me the information I request whenever they are ready. But, that’s not true. I actually operate on a pretty tight schedule, made more so by a 5 hour planning meeting tomorrow and our upcoming trip to Ireland. But, does that matter to anyone? Apparently not. It’s well past the bulletin deadline, and I just got information from three people (I went ahead and printed the proof copy anyway, so they’ll just have to trust that the info is right). I needed lists back from people yesterday that I didn’t get. I know I won’t get the information from the newsletter on time tomorrow, either.
And I know they don’t see it as a big deal. And maybe it isn’t, in all reality. But it makes me feel like I don’t have their respect. It makes me feel like my job and my responsibilities are so unimportant to them that they can do everything on their time and I am just supposed to be okay with it. It makes me feel like do not respect me as a person or as a professional. If it didn’t happen ALL THE TIME, maybe I would feel differently, but it’s the norm now, not the anomaly.
And today that makes me angry. It makes me hurt. It makes me sad. It makes me frustrated. It makes me want to scream.