O.A.A. Meetings

This is how I imagine an OAA (Olympics Addicts Anonymous) meeting going.

***

Hello.

My name is Emily and I’m addicted to the Olympics.

Hello Emily.

I cannot stop watching, even when it’s one in the morning and I’m exhausted.

Welcome to our Olympics Addicts Anonymous meeting.

Thanks.

What are you most addicted to?

What is on today? (uncomfortable laughter).

That’s not an answer.

But it’s the truth. I’ll watch it all. 4.5 hours of opening ceremonies? No problem. Welterweight boxing? Okay.

Do you even know what “welterweight” means?

No. Nor do I care. Plus, then there’s that syncro diving – amazing. And gymnastics. And that swimmer…what’s his name?

Michael Phelps.

I was kidding. I know his name. Who doesn’t know his name? I think even small children would recognize him on the street.

Anyway, what can I do? Are there like 12 steps or something to follow? I need my life back.

First of all, admitting you have a problem is the first step. Secondly…

There’s more?

Yes.

Darn.

Yes.

Well? Why do you keep looking over my shoulder?

Secondly, pull up a chair. It only happens once every 4 years and it looks like Phelps is about to break another world record.

Sweet!

Remember, you can sleep later. There’s sports history to be watched now!

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