I Thought Today Would Be Better…

I’ve been struggling with a lot lately. Maybe not a lot, but a few things, nonetheless. And, I was convinced that today would be a better day. That I would be more understanding. That the world would make more sense. That I would stop letting other things steal my joy. That I would be more patient. That there would be more peace.

That lasted for about an hour and a half.

Then I got to work and all it took was a “you’ll never guess what so and so did for so and so” and I find myself once again near-tears, fighting my own frustrations and insecurities and fears. I have been holding so much at bay, and so much of it came crashing down on my way home from work last night. So much came pouring out…and I guess it’s just not done coming yet.

I had a brief, less than five minute, discussion with a friend last night. He is a minister at my church, but he is also a friend and he is genuinely interested in my life and concerned about me. Even though it was just a simple conversation about his struggles and how I’m doing, it reminded me that God is here and God is good. Now, I just need to figure out how not to allow myself to be consumed…

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