The view reminded me that there is just one me in a very big, very complicated, very detailed world. Still, I am not insignificant. I am important. I matter. I have value.
The view from here as I look to the future is a little blurry. The paths I laid so carefully in my teen years and college years is so far gone that it’s laughable. This is not where I thought I would be, not what I thought I would be doing, not how I thought my life would look. The view is a little more complicated now. It seemed so simple when I was young – go from point A to point B to point C, neatly checking things off my list and moving on to the next thing.
Now, the view is more like a tree branching off in a million directions. Point A leads to point B, but also to point C, Q and V. Point B will lead you forward to C, N, O or backward to A. It’s not clear these days, but the view is a lot more beautiful. As much as I am a planner and an organizer, I feel like the disorder of a life that is unfolding in strange and new ways reminds me that I am just one piece of a giant puzzle. I am one piece and I only have one view of how the future looks.
I can’t see the whole picture.
I don’t know all the moving pieces.
I don’t know where I am (am I an edge piece or somwhere in the middle? What do I hold together?)
I only know that the blurrier my view of the future becomes, the more I have to rest quietly and trust completely that the only view that really matters is the one He has; the one where all the joys and sadness make sense and that, at the end of it all, the view will be perfect.