Feelings…

I didn’t write yesterday.  It wasn’t that I didn’t have anything to say.  On the contrary, I had a lot to say, but I wasn’t in the best of moods about some of it.  And, more than anything, I do try and keep this blog as uplifting and positive as I can.  I don’t know that there is much good in complaining, especially in a format like this – where inflection and words can be so easily misunderstood.

But, in the last few days, I’ve realized that my one word challenge to experience life in all its ups and downs means that there are going to be hard and stressful days; there are going to be moments when I don’t know what is next or feel like I’m just treading water and waiting on life to start up again.  Those moments are fleeting in the grand scheme of things, but when I have those days, they tend to be all-consuming.

It seems that the status-quo will again be changing some – which is good, I’m sure.  Growing pains, however, are hard.  There will be a few changes coming at work in the next few months – most of which excite me.  There is that moment of….fear…though…that comes with any change…wanting to know where my role will take me and where my place will settle.  The next few months will be exciting, challenging and hard.  I am ready for some changes…I think!

The one class I am taking this semester is turning out to be more annoying than anything else.  There is a lot of confusion about some of the requirements and expectations amongst my classmates.  While I didn’t expect them all to be wonderful, I’m finding this one a little more blah than fun!

And, on top of that, the newness and excitement over the weight loss has worn off – and instead I’m just learning to deal with the day to day writing down and calculating everything.  I’ve lost some of my initial motivation – I still want to lose the weight; it’s just harder to write it down and say no to the high fat foods I’ve been craving.  I’m still plugging away at it, though, and really hoping that this week I hit that 10 pound mark.  That would be very helpful in motivating me to keep it up!

I guess what it comes down to right now is that I’m experiencing a lot of emotions and feelings right now.  It’s good to feel it all; but it’s exhausting!

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