So I started writing this post on my way home tonight – after running a couple errands and spending a little more time in traffic than I should have on a Friday night.
So here it is – an open letter to the drivers of Bloomington (and maybe everywhere else).
I’m so sorry that you were never really taught how to drive. I’m sorry there are some things that seem to completely escape the realm of your knowledge. So, in order to help you not make the drivers around you want to bang their heads into the steering wheel, here are some things you should know.
Here are just a few quick hints that you need to read over and over again until you learn them. Please. First, please, please, please only go one way in the roundabout. I understand that you really need to go on the road to your immediate left, but when you go that way without going all the way around the roundabout, it scares the people driving near you. Second, if the roundabout is empty, please do not stop at the entrance; please slow down, and please yield, but please do not come to a complete stop. I really hate when I have to slam on the breaks just because you are afraid of the invisible cars that only you can see. Third, if you are approaching the roundabout and there are cars in it, for the love of all, please slow down. I know you think you know exactly how fast you’re going; but you are still scaring the other drivers.
Use them. They are standard equipment on every vehicle you own or are in, so please use them. Believe it or not, the other drivers can’t figure out what your plans are when you don’t use them. And I know you like playing chicken at the four way stops, but the rest of us would really like a glimpse into what you’re thinking.
That line in the middle of the road
Is not a suggestion. I’m just saying.
Phones, Blackberries, Computers, GPS, and whatever else is in your hands
No. Just…no. Please stop. I know you think you’re the queen of multitasking, but the swerving in and out of your lane and the irregular speeds seem to say otherwise. Not to mention the fact that you almost hit me a few times; and the fact that you stopped at a green light, and whatever else you’re doing instead of driving. I’ve been guilty of using my phone while driving in the past, but I am learning the error of my ways – so please just stop. You make me think things that are inappropriate and angry because, as it turns out, you are not the queen of multitasking.
Please understand that these are just observations on one Friday night. I’m sure you’re an excellent driver every other moment of the day. But you stress me out. And make me cuss. And put me in a really bad mood.
I believe in you, though, I really do. Together we can make it through this and all drive in harmony!