I Will Never Be the Same Again

Well, I did it. I saw the Movie and I don’t think I will ever be the same again. This will probably be the shortest blog about the most significant thing because I just don’t think words can do it justice. I really don’t. I don’t think there is anything that will make this make sense to me. I will never understand the anger, the frustration, the brutality. I will never forget the sounds of an angry crowd crying “Crucify Him!” I will never forget the continual, seemingly never-ending walk to the hill. I will never forget the look of someone who knows what they are seeing. I will never forget His impassioned plea “Father Forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”

I could feel my life ripping into his flesh. I could feel my anger, my sin, my lust, my pride…all of it…tearing through living flesh and exposing bone. I could see in His eyes the love he has for me. The way He was willing to do it; the pain He was willing to endure. I would have refused. I would have listened to the Temptress as she said it wasn’t worth it. His resolve, His love, His compassion. There He was, hanging, bruised, and beaten on a cross, and He listened to the cry of a convict hanging beside Him and offered a powerful promise. “I tell you this day you will be with me in paradise.”

I saw this movie with two of the most important people in the whole world, my roommate and my boyfriend. I sat in the middle of them, tears streaming down my face, as the Truth unfolded in front of my very eyes. Rene didn’t pass out, she watched with her hoodie covering her mouth, hiding her tears. She sat silent and watched with open eyes. Tim sat still at first, then slowly began sinking into his chair, tears streaming down his face, as well. I could feel the haggard breath of a person muffling their tears as he watched. I could feel his grip tighten on my hand. I will be forever grateful that I experienced this film (for it is something you experience, not something you just watch) with him. It is no secret that I love him. That his very presence in my life is one of the biggest blessings I ever have been given…it is no secret that I dream of spending my life wrapped in the safety of his arms, and it is no secret that I truly believe it will happen. And somehow, during this movie, I grew even closer to him. No words were said, no words were needed. He is the love of my earthly heart, second only to the One who blessed us with this relationship from the beginning.

I will never be the same again. I will never forget. Communion will never be just part of my Sunday morning ritual.

I do believe, I do believe

In the promise of His love

I do believe, I do believe

in His kingdom come

I do believe, I do believe

He promises me more

I do believe, I do believe

than this world has in store

I do believe, I do believe

that love will overcome

I do believe, I do believe

In the One sent from above

I do believe, I do believe

I am forever changed

I do believe, I do believe

My heart is no longer in chains

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